slightly left of center thoughts

why is it that just when one part of your life gets so rosy and happy, another starts to FALL APART?

today was my first day of teaching. God, ive been waiting for this chance, praying even. i thought that i can easily juggle two jobs at the same time. but as early as now i can see that i will eventually love one master greater than the other. i feel like ive just stepped into the front doors of hell (okay, an exaggeration..) but it was a pretty long afternoon! a fateful day indeed for a first time teacher. two hours of lecture left me DRAINED of my energy and enthusiasm. my feet were killing me! and most of all, due to the short notice of my appointment, i was ILL-PREPARED about the subject matter. i was supposed to discuss for four hours but i couldn’t talk that long. and out of the two hours that i met my class probably only one is relevant. i am marking this day RED on the calendar.

sorry to be so whiny. it is just that now that i am getting closer to my DREAMS, i’m beginning to realize that they are NOT what i have expected. now, i dont even know what i want anymore.

BLESSINGS, oftentimes, are disguised challenges waiting to test one’s endurance to the brink.

am i not grateful for the opportunities coming my way? sure i am. its just that i’m so lost right now - hanging in the middle of somewhere without the idea of what to do next. surely i wouldn’t be put in this pedicament if i can’t handle it. but its so damn hard…

doreen, just remember : HARD WILL MAKE YOU GREAT.

Now, stop this none sense and start strutting your stuff!

~ by frozenmocha on January 17, 2006.